Nobody knows me, how can anybody know me better than I do? They can't, they can only see what I let them see. And on top of that they only see what they want to anyway. No matter who I choose to show them they are going to see who they want me to be regardless.
So why bother putting on a show? Why bother putting my best foot forward when most impressions about me are made before even meeting me?
I wish learning not to care wasn't such a hard process, such a long process. If I could choose I would just be a loner, the one who stood out because everybody willingly admitted that they couldn't figure me out. The one who sat alone and became more of a mystery as the days went by. So much of a mystery that all anyone could do was make up stories about the person they want me to be.
Instead I am the girl that everyone figures is exactly what they see. That I am easy to read and practically transparent. When really what you see is so far from what you get. The difference is that everyone like the girl they think I am better than the one I really am.
How many people do you know that when they get down or are having a bad day, people actually get upset with them for feeling that way? Or when they are having a serious issue or bout with minor depression that everyone close to them is impatiently waiting telling them to snap out of it because they can't carry you?
I Kimberly am not allowed to stray far from the smile. The shape of my lips define who I am in your eyes.
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